This Pain Will Remain Forever In Me

This Pain Will Remain Forever In Me

Having a sibling is the biggest blessing from the above, and the almighty blessed me with a brother along with many cousins and few people who love and cares me just like their own brother, I am not listing the complete people but there are a few numbers who really cares me like their own brother. However, who is with you always, spends a large time and obviously gives lots of memories and when he suddenly disappears in front of your eyes, it makes the huge difficulty to make things normal and the pain is big. In this article, I will try to write the emotions and the feelings which I am facing at this time.

My brother Nikhil was not just a small brother for me but more than that, sometimes I became his teacher, friend, and different roles. For him, I need to be there always because he wanted my support and presence all the time. From the early stage of life, we spend our time together, we sit together in the same room and during that time, whether I do study or work or I play, he calls me and ask various things which he finds new, he believed that I can able to figure out all of his doubts.

This Pain Will Remain Forever In Me

He believed that I know everything and if he asks me or says something to do, it will be done, he never thinks what he is saying or what he is asking but he only knows that if he asks me, that thing will be done for him. Many times I feel very irritated especially when I was studying and he calls me for some silly things, I shouted to him and we do fight with each other, but that will not last for more than 10 minutes, because after that particular period of time, he comes back to me. He makes me angry with his naughtiness, and for that, I give punishments as well, but after few times I feel that he is a small kid and he doesn’t know what he is doing. So, I go back to him and tell him that don’t repeat this again and I’m not angry and that makes him very happy and he starts to make noise and play his own games.

He becomes sick rapidly and at that time I have to take care of him and I asked him to eat food and medicine but sometimes he resists and shouts, but I manage to make him understand and he listens to my instructions to keep well. However, recently he got sick and got hospitalized and he suddenly disappeared from the world by leaving his body, and for me, it was hard to digest as I’m not able to believe that he is disappeared.

Now when I’m sitting without the company him, it feels very imperfect and abandoned because now there is no one to call my name frequently, no one is there to fight or to argue, and now I am realizing the value of him and all such activities which made me angry. And I also realized that all those things gave me happiness and help me to tackle my issues, complete my projects, and helped me to spend time quickly. Actually, I don’t have words to explain the exact emotions and feelings but the pain which I’m having will remain forever.


Comment (1)
Maria Treesa
December 22, 2018

I know words can’t console you…but all I can say is his love and innocence will always be there and the memories never dies…


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